The Gargoyle
by Connie Nervegas
Summary: A songfic. A for real songfic! Raph is angry and miserable and sort of enjoying it.


_I read Mikell's songfic "Rain" and of course it gave me an evil idea. So this is an homage/ ripoff. Her story is very good by the way. So go read it. And she's warned me that Raph is likely to come after me for the stupid situations I put him in and that we'll end up having to huddle in a bomb shelter together. So at least I'll have good company._

_The song is "I'm Only Happy When it Rains" by Garbage. Look 'em up. They're good old 90's alternative. Where have you gone, Shirley Manson?_

It was raining and that didn't bother Raphael one bit. In fact, he was very pleased. It would make the effect even better.

He was stooped on the precipice of one of the oldest churches in New York City next to a gargoyle. It the horns of a goat and a serpentine face curved back into a frightening sneer. Raph liked it. He'd always hoped he would find an old discarded gargoyle in the garbage, but no such luck. He'd planned on putting it outside his bedroom with a sign around its neck that said, "Stay out or I'll eat you."

Raph pulled himself back into his brooding thoughts. Leo. That bastard. He always thought he could control him like a child. He felt the darkness well back in his chest and nursed the feeling.

Wouldn't Leo be surprised at his wit when he found him sitting here next to this gargoyle? Then he would jump down and say, "I have a lot in common with him. We're both snarling beasts that sit in the darkness alone." Yeah, that would be so cool. Maybe he'd even draw on him. And he'd stand there in the rain and the dark. That would look so badass.

**I'm only happy when it rains  
I'm only happy when it's complicated  
And though I know you can't appreciate it  
I'm only happy when it rains  
**

He truthfully couldn't even remember why he was mad at Leo in the first place. But did it matter? Leo was a self righteous prick. That was the reason. But still, it would be helpful to remember what the original catalyst of his anger had been so that he could have a comeback when Leo brought it up.

Raph had just come from a fight with a Purple Dragon and his skin warmed with the memory and the residual adrenalin still coursing through his muscles. But what had happened before that?

**You know I love it when the news is bad  
And why it feels so good to feel so sad  
I'm only happy when it rains**

They'd been arguing on a rooftop. Something about Leo being really bossy.

Man, it must be pretty boring to be a gargoyle, he thought as he leaned his elbow against its head to support his chin. The gargoyle just stared darkly out into the wet night, its concrete skin blackened from the acid rain.

And he was getting a cramp in his ass from sitting in this position. He'd wanted to imitate that gargoyle's stooped and looming posture, but it was making his ankles seized up. He sat down on the ledge and dangled his legs. When he saw Leo he would jump back into position.

He rubbed his cold, wet arms. Sitting in the rain, concealed by shadow would surely look cool, but it felt really uncomfortable. His toes were a little numb and his teeth were chattering. He wouldn't look very badass if he gave his crushing speech with chattering teeth, he thought, restraining a shiver.

**Pour your misery down, pour your misery down on me**

What had they been talking about in the first place? Besides the usual argument that Leo was too bossy? Nothing came to him.

Leo had chased him across the rooftops because they had had the fight earlier in the lair.

**I'm only happy when it rains  
I feel good when things are going wrong  
I only listen to the sad, sad songs  
I'm only happy when it rains**

Raph pulled out his iPod. He needed mood music. The rain, the gargoyle, the creepy shadowy church would only go so far to make his point unless he was mad enough to make it. He would wait for Leo to show up and then jump down. Presentation was half of the show. They're both monsters who live in the shadows. He let the anger and blackness fill him up again and enjoyed the thrill of it.

**I only smile in the dark  
My only comfort is the night gone black  
I didn't accidentally tell you that  
I'm only happy when it rains**

Where was Leo? Had he forgotten to chase him?

The church grounds must be really beautiful in the spring, he thought, looking out at the grounds before him. There was a long, English estate style garden that surrounded the ancient cemetery. Raph liked cemeteries. They were comforting to him. Peaceful and full of history. He wondered if birds lived up in the tops of the church and decided to come back on a nicer night, when the air was warm and dry. It would be a nice place to look at the stars, if they were even visible in the city.

Rain was nice too though. It makes flowers grow. Without it there wouldn't be any flowers in the cemetery or the garden. No river. No anything.

Stop with the warm, fluffy thoughts. He repeated the dark and brooding song that he had been listening to, hoping it would drown out his sudden contentment with his surroundings.

**You'll get the message by the time I'm through  
When I complain about me and you  
I'm only happy when it rains**

He remembered what the fight had been about. Leo had cleaned Raph's room. He hated it when he did that. He balled up his hands into fists at the very idea. Raph's garbage had a very delicate order to it and he was positive that Leo had thrown away some important stuff. Then he had called him Hitler and ran out of the lair with Leo hot on his heels.

That was kind of a dumb thing to fight about though, thought a small, reasonable voice in the back of his mind. He drowned it out with hot anger.

**Pour your misery down  
Pour your misery down on me  
You can keep me company  
As long as you don't care**

He squinted down in the darkness on the ground as he spotted a slight shadow moving at the base of the building. He knew it was Leo. Raph only had to see a few inches of his shadow from stories up in the air to know.

Raph willed all the hate into his heart as he purposefully threw a loose brick down to the ground, letting it fall exactly a foot away from his brother.

He knew Leo was looking up at him. This was it.

Raphael swung gracefully down the edifice of the church, landing lightly on the ground, water dripping from his body. He made sure to stay half hidden in the shadows.

"We're just like them. Those gargoyles up there," Raph said, in his most mysterious voice he could muster without his teeth chattering loudly. "We both live in the shadows. We're both just snarling beasts that…"

"Are you hungry?" Leo asked.

Raph sighed at his failure. All the anger dripped away with the rain that covered his body. "Yeah, I'm starving. I'm freezing too. Where were you? Is Mikey cooking dinner?"

**I'm only happy when it rains  
You wanna hear about my new obsession?  
I'm riding high upon a deep depression  
I'm only happy when it rains  
**

"What are you listening to?" Leo asked as they jumped down into the nearest sewer tunnel.

Raph remembered that he was still wearing the iPod and handed it over to his brother.

"'Voodoo' by Godsmack. Sounds like happy stuff." They walked in silence as Leo flipped through his song catalog. "Barry Manilow? Dexy's Midnight Runners? Enya?" Leo laughed loudly at the last artist's name.

Raph snatched the iPod away and pushed Leo playfully into the wall.


End file.
